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Esikwenzayo

Ukuthethelela & Ukubuyisana

Ukuthethelela & Ukubuyisana
Amaphrojekthi

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'People2People' Initiative

Umkhankaso wethu wonyaka ongu-1 we-UNSCR 1325 'People2People' e-Rift Valley, Kenya ngo-2010-2011olandela Udlame Lwangemuva Kokhetho ngo-2007/2008 waqeqesha abaholi besifazane abangama-20 ukuthi babe Abeluleki Bokuthethelela Nokubuyisana. Kwenza abesifazane abasemazingeni aphansi emiphakathini esengozini enkulu (i) ukuthi bafinyelele kuzo zonke izinhlaka zezinhlanga ukuze bathole ukuthula nokuvikeleka; (ii) ukubamba iqhaza eliwujuqu ekudambiseni ukungqubuzana; (iii) ukukhulisa intuthuko yangaphakathi ukusiza abantu ngabanye namaqembu ukuba babe kabusha abantu komunye nomunye, bakhuthaze ukuzwelana nokuqondana, ukwakha ukwethembana nokudala ubudlelwano obunempilo, njengesisekelo sokubuyisana kwesikhathi eside. Izishoshovu zabesifazane basezindaweni zasemakhaya ezingu-20, ngamunye wenze iphrojekthi yakhe yokungenelela emphakathini eNakuru, Kericho, Borabu, Sotik, Kisii, Burnt Forest, Mt Elgon, Pokot naseTurkana, futhi basizwa ngokuqeqeshwa nokuqeqeshwa mayelana nokulawula ukwesaba, ukuthethelela, ukuhlela iphrojekthi kanye ukuziphendulela, kanye namasu abezindaba. Umthelela womphakathi wawumkhulu, nabahlomuli abaqinisekisiwe abangu-5000 kanye nemiphumela engaqinisekiswa ngokuzimela. Abaholi besifazane abaqeqeshiwe basafaka isandla kakhulu ekubumbaneni nasekuvikelekeni kwemiphakathi yabo. Abanye babaqeqeshwayo bayasisiza ezinhlelweni zethu zokuqeqesha, abanye sebengamalungu eBhodi ye-Feminenza Kenya.

Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace | Mary Noble
06:42

Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace | Mary Noble

Finding Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace: Exploring the Seven Pillars of Forgiveness | Sunday 4 April 2010 Sponsored by Feminenza North America and hosted by B’nai Jeshurun Synagogue (257 W. 88th Street, New York City) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mary Noble, Co-Founder and CEO of Feminenza International, trained and qualified in social anthropology and archaeology, conflict transformation, and a veteran director of academic studies, Mary has undertaken a long study of the development of women, building understanding between the genders, and the work of forgiveness and reconciliation. Feminenza, an international charitable organisation established in 2000, seeks to promote and sustain the long-term development of women, their understanding of themselves and their roles in leadership and society. Currently residing in England, Mary is an international speaker and seminar leader on behalf of Feminenza. In Jan 2006, she was invited to run a 4-day international conference, hosted by Feminenza and UNESCO PEER at the UN headquarters in Nairobi, titled 'Humanity & Gender'. This event served 250 delegates, men and women, representatives from business, NGOs and UN officers from the Great Lakes Region of Africa, to discuss some of the most fundamental issues where gender equity is concerned. These included themes such as early forced marriage, Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), positive masculinity and combating HIV/AIDS through building awareness and value between the genders, giving respect to the stages of life and forgiveness and reconciliation between the genders. Transformative Leadership for Women: Since 2007 Mary has been developing a 3 year programme of Transformative Leadership for Women, which was piloted in Mombassa in 2008 with 60 women leaders, and will continue in 2010. Forgiveness and Reconciliation: In July 2007, Mary ran a 2 day seminar for over 100 delegates in Nairobi on "Finding Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace", hosted by Feminenza and UNILAC, a University for refugee students from Rwanda, Burundi and the DRC. Since then she has held workshops and seminars in New Zealand, Greece, Israel, the UK, Canada and the USA, focussing on "The Seven Pillars of Forgiveness", a Feminenza publication which she helped to author. In 2010 she is planning to run a pilot Programme for training grassroots women as Forgiveness and Reconciliation Counsellors in Kenya, funded by UNFEM, and undertake further work in Israel and the US on the theme of forgiveness and reconciliation, and the development of women as peacemakers.
Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace | Yulie Cohen
06:05

Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace | Yulie Cohen

Finding Forgiveness, Reconciliation and Peace: Exploring the Seven Pillars of Forgiveness | Sunday 4 April 2010 Sponsored by Feminenza North America and hosted by B’nai Jeshurun Synagogue (257 W. 88th Street, New York City) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Born in Israel, Yulie Cohen graduated from Tel Aviv University in Sociology and Anthropology. After completing her MA with distinction in Communication Arts in NYIT in 1984, she started work on films in New York City and Los Angeles. Starting as a production assistant, through to assistant camera to script supervisor and line producer, she became a producer and later a director. Since 1996, Yulie has produced and directed some fifteen documentaries.
Lapho kungekho khona ukuthethelelwa, amanxeba awapholi

Ukuthethelela kuyindaba enzima. Ngokuvamile abantu bayabuza: Kungani kufanele ngithethelele? Ngingathethelela kanjani? Kuyini ukubaluleka kokuthethelela esimweni sokungqubuzana okuqhubekayo? Buyini ubudlelwano phakathi kokuthethelela nobulungiswa? Uma ngithethelela, ingabe ngiyazivumela izenzo ezingalungile futhi ngizivumele ziqhubeke?

 

'Ukungaxoleli' sekuhlanganiswe nesiko, isiko, imibono. Kubizwa ngokuthi ukuziphindiselela; iso ngeso; izingwadule nje; tit for tat; inkokhelo; vendetta.  Ngenxa yalokho, singagcina sizihlukanisa nabantu esibathandayo, umndeni, abangani. Ngezinga elikhulu, singagcina sesithethelela ukubulala ngezinga elincane noma elikhulu, silungise amaphuzu amakhulu eminyaka ubudala. Kubhekwa njengokulungile, inkambo yesenzo ehloniphekile.  Nokho, abeluleki abashonelwe bavame ukubonisa ukuthi lapho umuntu esondela okhukhweni lokufa, ngokuvamile ukwesaba kwabo okukhulu akubona ubuhlungu obungokomzimba, kodwa ngokomzwelo. ubuhlungu balokho abangakwazi ukukuxazulula, baxolele, bayeke. Kubonakala sengathi, isifica sonke ekugcineni.
 

Akudingekile ukuthi sihlale sivaliwe esikhathini esidlule. Kukhona indlela - indlela yokuzibuyisela ebuntwini bethu bemvelo, lapho singathola khona ukuqonda, ububele, ithemba lekusasa, nokukhululwa kweqiniso ezibophweni zesikhathi esedlule, noma ngabe sidinga ukuzithethelela, noma ukuthethelela abanye.
 

Izinsika Eziyisi-7 Zokuthethelela
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Umbuzo ovame ukubuzwa, uthi, “Ngiluqala kanjani ngempela uhlelo lokuthethelela?  Ingabe zikhona izinto ezingokoqobo engingazenza?”  Izinsika Eziyisi-7 Zokuqonda, Inkululeko, Isixazululo, Imfudumalo, Ukuthuthukisa, Ithemba Nokuqhubeka, I-Feminenza idale izindlela ezingokoqobo, izinyathelo zangempela ezingathathwa, ukusiza abantu abavela kuzo zonke izizinda ukuhamba endleleni yokuthola indlela engcono. Iyabona ukuthi ukuthethelela kuwuhambo, nokuthi inqubo ihlukile kumuntu ngamunye. Kungaba mfishane noma kube yinde. Kungathatha izinsuku ezimbalwa noma impilo yonke. Akudingeki 'uthethelele'. Kunezinto ongeke uzixolele. Uhlelo lwe-Feminenza luhlinzeka ngamathuluzi, uma ufisa ukuhamba ngaleyo ndlela.  Ingabe umuntu, ngokwesibonelo, ulithuthukisa kanjani ikhono lokukhulula ubuhlungu obuhlobene nenkumbulo?  Noma umuntu uqala kanjani ukuqonda lokho ngaphezu kwezenzo zabo zamanje futhi umuntu umehlukanisa kanjani umuntu esenzweni, ukuze nikwazi ukuqhubeka nobabili?  Kungenzeka kanjani, ngempela, ukudedela izinhlungu okwedlule futhi siqhubekele phambili esikhathini esizayo?
 

Izinsika eziyisi-7 zinikeza ukufinyelela okujulile emandleni ethu okuthethelela, ngakho-ke sidlulele ngale kwendlela yobuhlungu, ukuziphindiselela noma udlame.

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Feminenza Workshops

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1. Imihlangano yokucobelelana ngolwazi ngokuthethelela

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Imihlangano yokucobelelana ngolwazi yokuthethelela iyatholakala njengamanje, uma iceliwe, e-USA, Canada, Denmark, Norway, Holland, Germany, United Kingdom, Ireland, Greece, Turkey, Israel naseKenya.

 

Izibonelo zalokhu yilezi:

  • Uchungechunge lwemihlangano yokucobelelana ngolwazi yosuku olungu-1 olwanikezwa abesifazane abangenamakhaya Ohlelweni Lwabesifazane Lwe-Cascade e-Seattle, Washington, North America

  • Imihlangano yokucobelelana ngolwazi ngezinsika eziyisi-7 njengengxenye yesifundo sonyaka ongu-1 ngendima yokuthethelela Emhlanganweni Wezemfundo, yothisha baseGordon Teachers Training College e-Haifa, kwa-Israel.

  • Imihlangano yokucobelelana ngolwazi njengengxenye ebalulekile yoHlelo Lobuholi Babesifazane Abancane lweminyaka emibili ePeekskill, eNew York.

  • Ama-workshops osuku olu-1 kubantu besifazane ababaleki e-Denmark

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2. Ama-workshops njengengxenye ye-Trauma Healing

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Le workshop inikezwe ngempumelelo emaqenjini nasemiphakathini eye yabhekana nezingxabano ezinzima nodlame futhi kungenzeka ukuthi ibithwele lezi zinkinga ngaphakathi kwayo iminyaka eminingi, kwesinye isikhathi amashumi eminyaka.

 

Ifundisa ababambiqhaza ukuthi:
 

  • Qonda Izindlela Zokuthethelela kanye nendima yazo ekunciphiseni i-PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

  • Shiya okwedlule ngemuva

  • Zisuse bona kanye nabanye kude nomjikelezo wodlame, 'ngokwenza omunye umuntu'

  • Khulisa ukuzwelana nokuqondana, yakha ukwethembana

 

Inqubo yokuthethelela isiza ababambiqhaza ukuba babhekane, isibonelo, izindaba ezijulile zobuhlungu, ukulinyazwa, amahloni kanye nomuzwa wecala, ukuzibheka ngendlela entsha, okwenza umhlanganyeli akwazi ukuzidedela, abuyekeze indaba abazitshela yona, ukukhetha phila esikhathini samanje nesizayo, hhayi esikhathini esedlule.

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Ukukwazi ukuthethelela abanye

Abahlanganyeli abezwe ubuhlungu, ukukhashelwa, mhlawumbe ebuhlotsheni obuphukile, noma ngisho nokuhlukumezeka okwedlulele ezandleni zabanye - ukudlwengulwa, ukuhlushwa, ukulahlwa - bavame ukuzwakalisa ushintsho olukhulu ekupheleni kwe-workshop - kusukela kokuthi 'Angisoze ngaxolela' ukuthi 'ukuthethelela kuyisenzo sokunika amandla, ngifanele ukuze ngikhululeke ukuze ngiphile impilo yami futhi.'
 

Ukukwazi ukuzixolela

Ngokuvamile ababambiqhaza bazizwa benesibopho, ngokufanelekile noma ngokungalungile, ngokulimaza abanye, kanye nokuba izisulu ngokwabo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi lwesilinganiso, kungenzeka ukuthi bamane benza ukukhetha okungekuhle esikhathini esithile ekuphileni kwabo, okube nemiphumela ebuhlungu. indima, ngokuzithandela noma ngokungafuni, yokuba umenzi wobugebengu owenza izenzo zobudlova (isb endaweni yempi) - ngakho-ke kanye nokukwazi ukuthethelela abanye, ukuzithethelela nokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo nakho kuyindaba enkulu okufanele ilungiswe._cc781905-5cde-3194-bb3b -136bad5cf58d_ Yilokho ochwepheshe abazokukhomba njengokulimala kokuziphatha: "ukwenza, ukwehluleka ukuvimbela, ukufakaza, noma ukufunda ngezenzo ezeqa izinkolelo ezigxilile zokuziphatha nezilindelwe". Ngokuphambene ne-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, ebangelwa ukwesaba, ukulimala ngokokuziphatha kuwukwephula lokho ngamunye wethu akubheka njengokulungile noma okungalungile. Kufana nokulimala emphefumulweni, okufana nosizi noma usizi, okunomthelela ohlala njalo kubantu ngabanye nasemindenini yabo.

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3. Ukuqeqeshwa Komsebenzi Wokuthethelela

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Ukuba Umeluleki/Umsebenzi Wokuthethelela kuhilela inqubo yesitifiketi futhi kuwukuqeqeshwa okuyingqayizivele kwengqondo, inhliziyo kanye nentando.   Abesifazane namadoda bayaqeqeshwa bese befundiswa ngabanye ukuze basungule iphrojekthi emphakathini wabo, engasukela ekubambeni iqhaza ekuqedeni izingxabano nodlame, ukusebenza namantombazane noma abesifazane abahlukumezekile, ukusiza. Intsha esengozini, ekusunguleni indima  indima yokuthethelela kwezemfundo noma ingemuva. Kungumsebenzi womuntu ojulile.

 

Ubufakazi

Abakushoyo

Amagridi namasu ahlinzekwa esifundweni abewusizo kakhulu ngoba ayasebenza futhi ngingawasebenzisa empilweni yami. Isibonelo, 'ungabamba kanjani okuhle kakhulu komunye kuwe' - le nqubo yaba yisambulo kimi ngoba ngiwuzwe kaningi lo musho, kodwa angikaze ngicabange ukuthola iqhinga, nendlela ethathwe phakathi nesifundo inikwe amandla. ngenze lokhu ngokuphepha nangempumelelo enkulu.

Ezikhathini lapho ukungqubuzana kwase kuzokwenzeka noma kuqale ukufika - okuthile kungibambe futhi kwangikhumbuza ngalokho engikubiza ngakho manje, imilayezo yesimo sengqondo sokuthethelela. Ngakho-ke kunokuqwashisa okwengeziwe ngendawo ongabuka kuyo ukuphila, njengokuthi kunamehlo amaningi abheka isimo.

Ngabona ukuthi nginezimfanelo eziningi futhi lapho ngibheka zonke lezi zimfanelo, ukwesaba kwami kwabonakala kuncane kakhulu kimi.

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